oh maii gawd. it's been months yet again. and i've gone through another session or readin back on my post and yea..much has changed within this few months...it's scary to see what the future holds for us all?:(
so yea..im worried..about life..i dunno why. i've ended my so called second relationship and screwed up another frenship. i don't get myself. i am so selfish it seems that nothing seems to work out. i gave you my all and you had it all...so much..i never thought i would be so open to a guy before but now...we're nothing...and it makes me feel so sad..that all we've been through was nothing..all that we've done will soon be just a memory. ahahha, i kinda feel unsuci? its weird cz i mmg arent suci==. but ow well. no regrets..no point doh...im glad i went through so much crap these 9 months..cause it made me realise so much about my life. so to the man i hurt..im sorry..really am..sorry doesnt cut it..but what can i do...what can i honestly do already? i just hope all the times we had were actually worth it to you,..cz doh ur nt wif me anymore...i appreciated the time you gave me..and spent with me. i really hope we could be friends again like the old times. kkb told me to stop caring about what people think..but well your opinion on me does mean stg to me cause u mmg are a part of my life.
my sister's leavin for uni to london. hahaha..shame to admit it..but i wil..i will miss her:) eew...hahah..but yea..i wont have a cow nagging me to pack the clothes..or someone to fetch me around when i need to. no buffoon to cal when i end tuition. no idiot to talk to when im sad or when i just feel like breaking down.. i could normally just go next door and talk to the fool. but not anymore. noone to back me out with parents. no one to annoy me the way she does. no one to jump on my bed to nag me to wake up. noone to take my vege's for me cz i duwan dem. noone i cn steal food from anymore. the house will surely be so quiet without her insane screaming. and though i noe she will be only gone for 3 years, it hurts that i won't have someone there for me at home anymore. i know im so dramatic but hey, can you blame me, try living with a fool like my sis for 16 years, and havin her leave you all of a sudden, and telme you wont miss her? ahahhaah...i sound so emotional. but well..i am? im really sad but its something i hv to go on with and deal with. i guess i just hv to learn to grow up now. i feel like crying now but i promise myself i wont anymore. im happy now cause kkb told me some gud news.
went to steffi's house today. the pool was amazing. so romantic and so peaceful. wearing a dress and walking barefoot in the rain was truly an amazing feeling..feeling the breeze running though your hair. haaaaaa~ so happy. but got to spend time with friends new friends, old friends. still awesome. glad i got to. it was really a break from all the stress lately from choir and life. sitting there..soaking my legs in the pool, havin my dress wet after pushin steffi into the pool, lookin at such a fantastic view..and having you sitting there...it was perfect:) i felt amazing for once...having my dress float on water..im lame but yea:D ahahha...had to change to stg dry i was freezing cold. met a pakistan girl..super frenly:) and she is pretty!!! gorgeous and friendly. ahaha, if only everyone in the world was so bubbly..there wouldnt be any backstabbers or beetches:P but ow well, that's life.
and hey! i found a new obsession. he's from the glee project. CAMERON MITCHELL. super awesome voice, true to his believes and a passion for singing and songwriter..not to mention a lover to his beloved girlfren macy. he approved me on facebook and im so glad! i found him cause he inspires me so much and his voice is simply incredibleXD long live cameron mitchell! NERDS FOR LIFE! NERDS FTW:D so that's all for now its almost 3am, im super tired. cheerio bloogie. till we meet again
xoxo cyys
