screw it..

Are my friends really my friends? i mean..they are treating me like....whatever laa. i feel like so

damn annoyed lately. form 1...form2...now form 3...thgs are just going down hill at the momment...maybe its just me..being emo and crap..but thats me..live with it?! if you are my friend...you wouldnt even GIVE A DAMN about how i am. seriously...I HAVE TO ASK TO TALK?! WOW...dats just freaking awesome..i should ask wether i cn luk at my frens too..yea...tat would be awesome...i should be their dog..bark whole day long and gt slapped at for doing nothing...i trusted you..and now you did this? hah..thanks...you finally woke me up..I WONT EVER TRUST ANYONE FULLY ANYMORE!?!?!...so kindly

move away..and thanks again...you freaking rock my world..i rather be alone now..

read it and weep signing off disapointed=[

daaaammmmnnnn.....><

guess apa ini? its da sign of FRIENSHIP^^

gawd i cant rmbr the last time i wrote me bloggie. and i truly apologize for leavin u bloggie. i duno wats wrong with me lately. i dun even want to touch my diary..and read wat i ever wrote..da pain is just so hurtly..i cant handle it..luking at my golden cover...filled with puffy white bunnies...i use to fill with my emotions..and secrets...i just cant do it anymore...im just a coward..for this..im worthless arent i? haizz...as if anyone reads my blog.==

skul started like two weeks ago..1st day for kinda scary..but i survived. haha. ntg much happeened lor. leesha's bday..we had tons of fun laughin n posing withh leesha's statue.haha.played with her cat..and everyone had to wear red and black...awesome...^^haha. den along came zhen's bday..he said he didnt want anythg..but..im a pro..and decided to gt stg. haha. andrea was so nice to share la..feel so malu..and guilty. haaaiiyyooo.==. anyways..so i was walkin along pavi..and went to EX...and saw a black wallet with green abstract art on it..and my mind said.."YES!! this is zhen's!" hahah. so bote it lu. hahah.n he likes it..omg..im so hapi wen ppl actually like n use my presents. haaa...:D...!!

im still missing him so much. i gues i deserve da way he's ttreatin me. i mean..i din stay der by his side all da tym..like he did for me. i feel lyk a jinx la..i mean..once im closer to sum1..eventually another becomes further..and den wen okok dy..next one comes along. it feels so frustrating for me. aarrggghh. and lately he's closer to her..and..i mean..of course he cn be with her..but..i feel jealous..cz..i just miss spending time with him so badly. again..my stupid emo-ness..cause me. it feels like crap la..when someone so close to you..just drifts away...and u feel like a part of you is gone..and ur nt complete la u noe? HHAHHA..im talkin to myself..*whacks forehead* gawd..im actually lying to myself for being hapi? ==..lame..

i cant believe i actually teared up talkin abt em to him today...at tuition. i mean..he's an awesome fren. haha. so sweet and ccaring as usual. mr romanctic...><...boy..anygal would be damn lucky to have him..he's jz so...aahaha,,duno hw to say la...hmmm special? yea..special..=)..one malu thg to say...shhhhsss....i like hw it feels wen he puts his arms around my shouders..i just feel so warm and save..so loved..><


i mis carmen and chuiyin soooo much. doh i gt to see chuiyin more often. i mis carmen. absense reli does make da heart go fonder..im nt les><..bt dey are like so important to me..and noone cn replace them both. heck..noone cn replace all da frens i have now..nobody..i love them all so much and caree for them deeply..i jz hope they know dat..( doh no1 reads da blog==)

THANKS TO ALL MY FRENS DAT HAVE SUPPORTED ME AND HELPED ME..WHILE I WAs IN PAIN> SORI IF I EVER HURT YOU...if its too much to ask for their forgiveness...i reli hope we all cn remain frens for a long tym..praying hard^^..

well tats all for now..malas nk tulis dah..ahhaha..tc..

read it and weep signin out..peace! =)

i missed you..

♫♫♫♫♫ Iƒ ♫♫♫♫♫
Ω If I never met you , I wouldn't like you Ω

Ω If I didn't like you , I wouldn't love you Ω

Ω If I dudn't love you , I wouldn't miss you Ω

Ω But i did , I do and I always will ΩΩ If loving you is wrong , then I don't want to be right ! Ω

Ω If loving you is a crime. I'd like to be jailedfor my whole life , in your heart Ω

Ω I love you. Like a fat kid loves Vanilla-Ice-Cream ! Ω

If you have 1000 years of age , i just want to have 999 years and 364 days so i never have to live a day without you

7 words from da bottom of my heart to you

"Forever And Always, I Will Love You"

By - Leng Zai kkb ◘◘◘◘

i found this..in my other blog..i guess i really just missed him..he was so kind and sweet..forgivin everytime..and all i did was be emo and hurt him. i want him to smile. i guess all this time..i was just being selfish to myself..i wanted him for myself..to be his number1..but..selfish acts lead to sadness and hurt..i really dunno..i always tote he x care abt me wen he scolds me..wen he ignores me..i still believe..dat he cares for me..even if im nt his number1..im still his fren..watever he says..it mite hurt..n bring tears..but..i nvr nvr ever..gave up on him..he was da best bro..i could ask for..yet i still caused him so much pain..and i nvr really got to apologize..saying sori..doesnt help..does it? but..i m sori..i really am..how could i show it? i gues..im just still selfish..being my self..selfish stupid n naive.. thanks for being here..my shoulder to cry on..i love you..koh..take care..:)

a poem for a friend..

wow..when through my old blog..and found this poem..very nice..enjoy..=)


poem for a friend

FRENS FOREVA, WRITTEN WITH A PEN, SEALED WIF A KISS,

IF U R MY FREN, PLEASE ANSWER THIS,

ARE WE FRENS OR ARE WE NOT, U TOLD ME ONCE BUT I FORGOT,

SO TEL ME NOW AND TELL ME TRUE, SO I CAN SAY IM HERE FOR YOU,

OF ALL DA PEOPLE THAT I HAVE MET, YOUR THE ONES I WONT FORGET,

AND IF I DIE BEFORE YOU DO, I'LL GO TO HEAVEN AND WAIT FOR U,

SO STAY MY FREN, N ALWAYS DO, SO I CAN SAY THX 2 U,

OUR FRENSHIP MUZ START, CZ U ALL WILL ALYWAYS B IN MY HEART!!! <3

dedicated to the ones in my heart..my friends..^^

READ IT AND WEEP..signing out=P

aiyoyo..

helo helo blog blog!!!

wel..update life again...sori so long dun write...me very da malas...=P paiseh...will try to write more..=)

wel..da macha's...da so called big indian group of boys in me skul...i reli reli get damn annoyed with dem..haizz. they keep buggin my fren sharmila....as her fren..i reli feel so hurt to see stuff happen to her.=( they do stuff tat are seriously rude and mean. i feel like giving them a tight slap and tellin them how hurtful they are!

so on thurs or wed..im nt sure..we had to hantar our boooks back. so helped out me teacher..and went down. so sharmila n i, along with kishini tanussha and yeeeting sat down 2 rest.. and to my horrow...here came da annoying guys i love to hate..T.T so da so call leader of da gang..whose name i malas to mention.. sat beside sharmila, and grabbed da purse my sis gave her as a bday present..and her money. i got so damn pissed seriously. i was like wat da hell? and dey are total pervs...reli reli..dey reli dare to touch you..even if u are a girl. sometimess..girlschool x seem tat bad..any hu..sharmila tried to fight back n grab her stuff. typical her. n da ass**** leader splashed water on her. that reli pissed me off..i wanted to slap em so bad!

lucky kevin was here...so he asked me to get upstairs wif sharmila b4 dey do worst.. she ran up. but she wanted her money...she should just stop chilling and take care of herself laaa..stuborn..wat cn we do.? so anyways..kevin bein sweet offered to pay back wat the macha's did. so sweet.. so rashvin ask me to wait..cz dey will give the money bak. so i stood on da teacher's office level and w8 wif kevin..

i looked at rashvin...de turned too another direction..and saw dev!! he was waving with his usual smile..kevin asked em to come up..i was tryin to tell em abt da macha's..but he x hear. hahah. so hel ran up. so he asked wassup? so i told em da whole frustratin story. n he asked me to follow em go k class. at da same tym sharmila came down. so dev say jz cum wif em. kevin said no..cz da macha's r dangerous..bt dev x care and he led me down da stairs.. i walked bhind sharmila..hoping they would stop. but once dey reach da pondok bacaan..dey gave her bak money..but wen she took it..dey x let go..she got scared and bent down..(which i tink made it worst..but hey she was scared)..dev grabbed me and said: cn u jz gt out of there n cum? i grabbed sharmila..n she took a separate ways..dev jz held my shoulder and brought me along..he told sharmila to go to keith nw. lucky he was der!! so sharmila told keith da whole story. i turned around n realise dev wen up..=(

den norma came down ans scolded us..so we had to go class.. well.. da next day, we talked to my beloved teacher seyamala...she gave us great advice..i reli reli was so thnkful to her..god bless her..an awesome teacher..

well..that momment wen dev was der...he really seemed like he knew what he was doing. he seemed so cool and calm. i felt so safe when he was theere. like a spark of my hero..cheezy..but yea..its reli true..i felt so warm n lucky to have em der. and tinkin nw...i tink he x scared cz he has a black bellt in karate or taekondo? hahha.. he rocks. i dunno hv to thnk em la. he x mind..but i reli do. i owe him one..=)

well..days are normal. we play games like crazy! it was soooo dammmnnnn funnnn!! ahaha...luv my frens la.. annd at night..kal told me dey wen jj x me..n apologized. well..im reli nt mad at her at all.. but i felt ditched laa. im used to it.. n im nt blaming her at all. haiz..feelin alone sad depress and left out..dunno who my frens are anymore la..

thnkful to da ones who are here..jealously taking over me..and im reli scared to get close to my frens lately...cz..i tink once i gt too close...n dey jz suddenly leave..n go so far..n i just gt hurt..haizz..i have no comments..

read it and weep signin out..(emo..zzz)

to realize the value of time..

to realise the value of one year,

ask a studdent who has failed a final exam,

to realise the value of one month,

ask a mother who has given birth to a premature baby,

to realise the value of one week,

ask an editor of a weekly newspaper,

to realise the value of one hour,

ask the lovers who are waiting to meet,

to realise the value of one minute,

ask the person who has missed the train or bus,

to realise the value of one second,

ask a person who has just survived an accident,

time waits for no one,

treasure everymomment you have...

remember..

yesterday is history,

tommorow is a mystery,

today is a gift,

that's why it is called the present

mooncake festival=)

hihi bloggie!!! =D

well mooncake festival was yesterday..a celebration of chinese culture involving mooncake eating and lantern carrying..and night wen streets are filled with children with their beloved lanterns..lighting the streets with fun and laughter.=)

i have never played lantern for 4 years..i miss it..it was one of my fav days of the year as a child. well, on friday night..2nd oct..school finished and i hopped home as jeremy and joelle walked me out to my car. they are such great frens..=) i ate up..and called up daddy. he was coming late..== usual. so i called everyone 2 make sure they were going with me. and naresha said everyone was coming but zhen tk reply her. called em and he said he x cum. haiizz. well. da fun must go on!! i packed my lanterns..felt childish..cz we had cartoons on our lanterns. hahaha.

went to prakkash house and saw keith and ryan! haha. said hi and called up kesh n kong to ask where they were, they said they were'nt coming. and tat made me very very sad. haiz. we hopped on out and started our lantern walk. i had 6 lanterns with me and two boxes of candles. and also a lighter da shape of a ball. hahaha. keith and ryan actually wanted to join!! so keith took da ultraman lantern and ryan took another doraemon one like prakkash. naresha got pikaciu and sharmila gt hello kitty. and my blue lantern was mashi maro!! weee!^^ we started walkin den naresha got a phone call, it was keshen!! he said he was here! we turned around and there they were...kong and keshen. keith passed his lantern to kong and ryan passed his to kesh.

so we continued to walk. we passed philip's house and i told kong why don't we ajak phil too? so he called em up and he said ok. we told da others to go 1st. kong and keshen teman me outside phil's house. he came out and my lantern fell down. malu much? hahah. we talked for a while and decided to walk up da hill to meet up with the others.

da four of us cracked so many jokes along the way. it was so fun. though i was da oni gal there..da guys made me feel comfortable..=)..so we passed this big house which was like damn big and nice. we sat down to rest. phil kept insisting i buy tat house sumday. hahah. we continue walkin up..and boy did it get dark!!! we passed to clives den we were almost to da peak and we saw da others sitting by da mountain sidde. oh my god! da view was amazing! we sat down and enjoyed da view while ryan keith and prakkash threw mercun everywhere. haha. da hill was steep..phil and keshen keep joking about fallin over. it was awesome.

our lanterns was already blown out! malas to light again la. den phil and keshen started askin whose taller..haha..it was so funi..tiptoe-in to increasing there height..hhaha... keith and ryan had 2 go, so we said goodbye and continued our trip. we cont uphill. we pass by this house which had chairs and giant mushrooms outside. we all sat down and got a group shot. it was damn nice. we rested and joked more. afther 15 mins, we decided to go bak down. on the way kesh lost his earphone cover thingy..haha..our whole gang bend over to help and finally we got it! but he dropped it again! finally sharmila found it and we went down. it was so funny la.

we sent philip home and thanked him for coming. it was amazing..and he made it better! thnk phil! and so we went to prakkash house and rested. naresha n sharmila went home. which left me da only gal again. ==haha. da guys were damn tired and fell asleep. haha. poor things. my dad came and i went home.

BOY I HAD FUN!!! thanks for all those who came!! happy mooncake festival again!! ^^

read it and weep signing out! =)