I LIKE SWEET MESSAGES FROM FRIENDS=)

lols. i like copying down whatever sweet things my friends write down lately^^..im happy. hahhahaah. its really touching. but now i got closer to so many other people. im so hyper. i miss the memang close frens. thnk god..we all still talk. i miss the old times la=(..but hey..change happens, and im thankful for wat i have nw..<3 me friends...!!=)

so this is what my dear friens SHYAMIE just told me=)..btw...he's such a sweetheart. so adorable. funi la. i like chatting with him. fun guy.=)

(shyam)
Forget love... I'd rather fall in chocolate!!! XD says:
- i kno
-i tink ur the oni one i trust now?
-hahha
- i dunno hu else to trust



another person i got closer to lately was KIRENRAJ!!! hahah. my dear dungubell. he's funi all the time. call me funi names. but he's here for me..and im glad!!=)

(kiren)
TABLATRONIX says:
-u my cute hunny!!!
-and i believe u so much!
-also love u


tc you guys...love u all!^^
readitandweep signing out!

keshen's big 15 bday! 24/4/10-wangsa walk=)

so yesterday...on the 24th of april 2010. we celebrated keshen naidu's 15th bday in wangsa walk mall! lols. me and nigel were super nervoous abt it. we invited 25 guest...but camp and kampung...only 14 made it in the end. but still we had fun.=) so at 1st i was kinda bumped when ppl started to cancel on me. but hey..kong told me to just continue the plan..so i did. naresha was the 1st to reach. followed by athirah den joelle and me. next tom n phil came. i bumped into tat joon! damn he's gotten taller. well after talkin to him...all 6 of us walked to tgi fridays! and met up with ravvern. and small world...joelle's church member was working there=)
so we grabbed a long table and all 7 of us sat down. i was so nervous walkin up and down. everyone just asked me to chill! hahha. esp joelle=) the sun was shining and when it hit philip! omgeee! he was like so freakin fair. he was glowing! ahhahah. athirah made a joke..:PHILIP CULLEN THE TWIN ASIA BRO OF EDWARD CULLEN! lmao!! damn funi.
we waited and waited till i got a text saying they were here. so we thought they were coming in from the bug gate..but they didnt! damn..but luckily i saw them. so i quickly asked everyone to hold up the menu's and prem came in first. den nigel. finally bday boy. i x see keshen. so when joelle said surprised...we all revealed ourselves. keshen waas so shock! he's face was really priceless...i felt so happy. he actually ran outside! hahahah. he was like: 'f you all la..shit wei.' hahahha. so he sat down then prakkash joined us. keshen sat in the front, beside him was russell, den me, joelle, athirah, naresha then prakkash. the opposite of keshen was ravern. so on my opposite side was nigel, kong. prem, tommy, phil..and later then, josiah.
we took such a long time to order. i bet the tgif people was annoyed with us. ahaha. so everyone ordered a big portion except me and ravern. i had soup..but he only had a drink. hahah. keeshen said the soup was nice..but i disagreed. so he said: i guess this place is just to LOW CLASS for you. at the same time the waiter walk pass. we laughed like hell!kong, tom, prem and plip ordered the same burger. 1.2.3.4! go, they all started eating at the same time. it was hilarious cuz da burger was huge! i shared with joelle alfredo. yummy! and keshen gave me some of his food. and damn it! it was beef! shiiit! lols. nigel and him kept on lying. haiz. xD
finally me n joelle went to ask the tgif people wether we could surprise keshen. and they did. omgee! they made him stand on the chair and give a speech. he was to sporting! he actually did! and he was so sweet. thanking us. lol.tear='(. den we had to sing the underwater bday song. the waitress was like: did u guys remind him to bring a spare shirt? we were like: uuh..no! so she took a cup of strawberry juice and put over keshen's head. we were all expecting her to pour the drink. but it was just a joke! hahah.lucky keshen;). josiah came in just in time for this! yay! so keshen fed us cake one by one. awww! lols. after that we left with a bill...rm 412.95..damn i noe!.

next stop karaoke? lols. we had to wait for zhen. but he was shopping with his mum..hahah..so cute. so we went up to the arcade. it was okok la. so athirah played with a game for free! she jz started whackin da screen and da game started! haha. next they played bbal. it was funi cz all bbal ppl..all miss! hahah. den da balls finish. so tommy grab the bbals frm da next machine and started using! it was hilarious. rm1 for 1 game. but they did tat for 4 games=) so me and naresha decided to walk to the bowlin alley to see got place. and bad news..there wasnt=(...i told them so we walked down the escalator and to the karaoke room. and guess wat? i saw my dad==...ahahha. everyone lol like hell. well..i don't mind. used to it oledi==

so zhen arrived. and joelle convinced her mum to stay l8er. but i had to leave early too. well..i don't mind. hahha. we walked up and down lookin for the counter. finally we ordered the BIG ROOM which cos rm38. well kinda cheap, rm2.80 for each person. we made our way up to room 814! hahah. surprising..we all could fit! and got space to walk summore! hahah.

we rocked out to songs like : pokerface, (kong kept on singing "mum mum mum mum" lol) next we did afew i tk ingat. i got really hyper and started jumping on the couch with athirah during :you belong with me! (i fell. and tommy kesh nigel plip and kong were damn semangated) next we sang :my heart will go on. (kong was like everyone serious serious! and we were shouting the whole song. awesome!)suddenly a tamil song appeared. keshen sang that with athirah. we laughed like hell. songs like 'beat it', 'thriller', 'calcutta', 'love game' and 'bad romance' was awesome finally we got to hear JOSIAH and TOMMY sing :im yours (freakin hyper to see them, awesomer=).

we were screaming most of the time. zhen was soo quiet. i guess he wasnt in the mood. tommy and keshen and josiah shared a mike, while nigel kong and plip had the other. prem too. me joelle and athirah sang together. it was really an awesome 1st tym in the karaoke. keshen kept wearing the sunglasses to sing.==.

my mum called and said we had to leave. so i called up joelle and hugged keshen. i wish i could hv hugged everyone (esp him), but no time. haha. well i was sad to leave, but i knew at least keshen had fun. i sent joelle home and the awesoome b'day came to and end. texted tom and plip at night. glad they had fun. keshen actually thnk me. so touched!!=)
i never ever seen keshen like that before..he was so sporting and happy=). i really felt so good inside being able to be a part of this. thnk nigel for planning this. i felt super hyper to be able to go out with for the 1st time with josiah, tommy and also philip and athirah. hope for more times with them like this in the future.


special thanks to my lovely guest:
KESHEN NAIDU, NIGEL CHOY, KONG WOON PING, JOELLE STEVENSON, ATHIRAH ROSLAN, NARESHA KAUR CHARBRA, PHILIP TAN, TOMMY LIM, JOSIAH NG, RUSSELL CHOY, PRAKKASH PARAM, RAVERN TIEW AND PREM SANDIRAN=).
you guys rocked my world. i <3 you all for coming to keshen's bday. thnk. peace out! happy birthday again kesh!=)


read it and weep signin out happily!^^

short note=)

yeeting:
mummy..dont be sad..i promise you.. i will always smile..


phil tan says:
i wouldnt leave you :)

these to people..they promised me..and i really hope to do not break this promise..i <3 them both! i hope they take care-IMTF:)

curve upwards!!! :)

hmm.. go to a mirrow now..and look at yourself..are you there? do you see your mouth? your lips actually? do me a fav..and try curving them upwards now..duno hw? hahaha..simple. ever had one of those momments..in your life..when you had so much fun..doin something enjoyable? with family or frens? something simple would be enough...maybe watching a movie..hanging out..or just textin them..there would be momments..when you would curve your lips upwards...you're lying if you havent once did that=P...(crapping arent i?)

what is curving your lips upwards
anyways...here's a clue..:)..haha. got it? lols. what is a smile you ask? hmm..i looked it up..awesome i know?! so here are a few examples..what's the definition..of a :)..

1. To express amusement, pleasure, moderate joy, or love and kindness, by the features of the face; to laugh silently.

2. To express slight contempt by a look implying sarcasm or pity; to sneer.

3. To look gay and joyous; to have an appearance suited to excite joy; as, smiling spring; smiling plenty.

4. To be propitious or favorable; to favor; to countenance; -- often with on; as, to smile on one's labors.

5. To express by a smile; as, to smile consent; to smile a welcome to visitors.

6. To affect in a certain way with a smile.

7. The act of smiling; a peculiar change or brightening of the face, which expresses pleasure, moderate joy, mirth, approbation, or kindness; -- opposed to frown.

8. A somewhat similar expression of countenance, indicative of satisfaction combined with malevolent feelings, as contempt, scorn, etc; as, a scornful smile.

hmm..i agree with all of them. but i think..a smile is more than just an expression. unlike anything else in the world..a smile..is free...like the saying.." a smile begets a smile"..when you smile at someone..it is obvious you will get a smile back too. even a stranger. a person might me mental or troubled for not sending a smile back..(harsh i noe..but true)..smiling..is the first step towards friendship. i myself..have many great friends..and it all started.. with one of these :)'s..

a smile also gives us the opportunity to convey our feelings or whatever that we want to utter. it helps to create a bond when we are lost for words..it allows people to regain their composure or confidence when approaching the unknown.

michael jackson..once written a song..called "smile" and here are the lyrics>> Smile, though

your heart is aching Smile,
even though it's breaking
When there are clouds in the sky
You'll get by...

If you smile
With your fear and sorrow
Smile and maybe tomorrow
You'll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just...

Light up your face with gladness
Hide every trace of sadness
Although a tear may be ever so near
That's the time you must keep on trying Smile,
what's the use of crying
You'll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just... Smile,

though your heart is aching Smile,
even though it's breaking
When there are clouds in the sky
You'll get by...

If you smile
Through your fear and sorrow
Smile and maybe tomorrow
You'll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just smile...

so live life..love life..and enjoy life..with a smile..:)

:)..>

misunderstanding...

life...going down hill at the moment...i cant even feel as if a smile if even here anymore..

fought with my closest guy friend...and when everything was ok...it happened again...on my birthday! i didnt really realise it at first..but..once he stopped talkin...well..yea..i kinda..get da msg.. i don't see why he doesnt get it? i mean..i've been close to others...i really had..and i have never seen him react like this before..it hurts..knowing..we're fighting more often than we used to..and that is not a good sign.. is it a matter of racism? it better not..im already mad as it is.. i guess he really has changed. he started his habbit again..i hate it..when he does dat...its so freaking pissing me off. and knowing im the cause of him hurtin himself...its like a knife piercing into my heart. he's always been there...thru everything...so what really is wrong?

jealously...it is one of the ugliest thing in the world next to envy and greed. when u feel as if you're losing somebody....and you get this uneasy feeling of anger..to dat particular person.. yeap..ur jealous. i myself...have experienced tis emotion. feeling like a green monster..isnt a walk in the park. thinkin about stuff..dat nvr even happened...jealously..it runs your mind..convicing you dat ur losing fame maybe? your ego perhaps? or someone dear to you? and well..it spreads around you..and negativeness..appears...and grows. and soon..your whole body is taken over..and your mind is set to do one thing! terminate da enemy...or threat...do whatever it take..to win what you had back! well..obviously..it aint wrong to feel jealous. its normal. but im a da case where..my friend is jealous of me..and is doing stupid things..to gt me jealous. and mad with him. it really irritates me.

and now..he's being close to my best friend..just to..zzz.. i really cant explain how i feel. but only with this line.. '' if hurting me is the only way to satisfy another...then i rather stab myself and let it be over with." DA.... im sori that if i hurt u too. u actually helped me..with this prob. and well..you've been such an inspiration to me..to smile and be happy. but..sometimes..i just cant help the fact. you guys are so close to me..and i don't want to lose anyone..but i really tink im wasting my effort tryin to persuade him back to me..=(

now...a departure of a dear friend. the thing about me..i only learn to truly appreciate something..when its fading away from my life. a lost...i can't describe how her departure is goin to be. its like a hole punched right into my chest. empty. noone to talk to in class...no one to joke my lame jokes with. no one the shed da painful tears with. no one to smile about something we both shared..no one to truly be there for me. our frienships in life..are like the gentle wind..it flows by...sometimes hard..sometimes gentle...rough and calm..it all just comes rushin in..but when its over..the hot blazing sun...rises..and we feel the heat on again..till the wind..comes flowing to us again..and all we cn do is wait..

im sensitive...that's for sure. i cry..im not strong..im weak. i always need somebody there..so if i fall..at least i noe..'hey..somebody's gt my back'... losing him...and him..and now her? its a huge gap from hapiness that i cn ever overcome. im just too emotionally attacted to thgs..never deal with separation well. i need a hug..the warmth..to be there..when im cold..when im sad. i need someone there! i used to tink..haha..carissa...your so lucky..u have so many awesome frens! around you...awesome eh? but now..finally they show their true colours...i now finally understand..wat my mum meant by..never get to close to anybody. i learnt dat the hard way..ouch!..i just grab on..to the nearest person that shows me care and love..and i get too attacted. its like a drug...i cant ever live without a friend beside me. even if i noe it would hurt.. it feels good..and even if it makes me smile for 1 second..frens..are worth dat pain sometimes. because..the love and hapiness the give..its just amazing. but when its over..da darkness and emptiness..its overwhelming...i just don't feel like my friends care that much anymore..maybe they do..but..it hurts..sometimes..cz dey don't even notice dat im gone!..

all i can hope now is the best...i mean..things..arent going as the way i plan. i feel guilty..for many reasons. hurting people. i really feel sorry. and i really think im falling for him..and his leaving? damn it la..i cant stand it..and the worst thing is..i know somebody has him already. his smile..he's just so positive. but i need to let go..i mean..its like a situation when..u saw a piece of chocolate..and u refuse to take it..cuz u tink it will still be bak when u return. but little did u noe..sum1 else took it..and den u tink..damn i should have taken it just nw! and now...i cant stop tis rush of my heart poundin whenever i see him..i noe he's never gona be mine..n he's going. and yea..why cant i let go? another situation. lets say u eat tomyam..and damn its spicy..but it taste so darn good...u tahan the pain..and jz keep eating..bt wen ur done..it hurts..bt ur sastified. so yea..i noe i wil gt hurt..wif him. but..its worth it..cuz i never ever met a guy like him before. smiles on his face. =)...bt yea..still need to try to prevent da pain n let go! ish!

okok! this post is toooo much! better stop! aahahah!...im laughin? yay? hahah. fine. tats all for now..ttfn bloggie.

read it and weep signing out...(misjudged)

screw it..

Are my friends really my friends? i mean..they are treating me like....whatever laa. i feel like so

damn annoyed lately. form 1...form2...now form 3...thgs are just going down hill at the momment...maybe its just me..being emo and crap..but thats me..live with it?! if you are my friend...you wouldnt even GIVE A DAMN about how i am. seriously...I HAVE TO ASK TO TALK?! WOW...dats just freaking awesome..i should ask wether i cn luk at my frens too..yea...tat would be awesome...i should be their dog..bark whole day long and gt slapped at for doing nothing...i trusted you..and now you did this? hah..thanks...you finally woke me up..I WONT EVER TRUST ANYONE FULLY ANYMORE!?!?!...so kindly

move away..and thanks again...you freaking rock my world..i rather be alone now..

read it and weep signing off disapointed=[

daaaammmmnnnn.....><

guess apa ini? its da sign of FRIENSHIP^^

gawd i cant rmbr the last time i wrote me bloggie. and i truly apologize for leavin u bloggie. i duno wats wrong with me lately. i dun even want to touch my diary..and read wat i ever wrote..da pain is just so hurtly..i cant handle it..luking at my golden cover...filled with puffy white bunnies...i use to fill with my emotions..and secrets...i just cant do it anymore...im just a coward..for this..im worthless arent i? haizz...as if anyone reads my blog.==

skul started like two weeks ago..1st day for kinda scary..but i survived. haha. ntg much happeened lor. leesha's bday..we had tons of fun laughin n posing withh leesha's statue.haha.played with her cat..and everyone had to wear red and black...awesome...^^haha. den along came zhen's bday..he said he didnt want anythg..but..im a pro..and decided to gt stg. haha. andrea was so nice to share la..feel so malu..and guilty. haaaiiyyooo.==. anyways..so i was walkin along pavi..and went to EX...and saw a black wallet with green abstract art on it..and my mind said.."YES!! this is zhen's!" hahah. so bote it lu. hahah.n he likes it..omg..im so hapi wen ppl actually like n use my presents. haaa...:D...!!

im still missing him so much. i gues i deserve da way he's ttreatin me. i mean..i din stay der by his side all da tym..like he did for me. i feel lyk a jinx la..i mean..once im closer to sum1..eventually another becomes further..and den wen okok dy..next one comes along. it feels so frustrating for me. aarrggghh. and lately he's closer to her..and..i mean..of course he cn be with her..but..i feel jealous..cz..i just miss spending time with him so badly. again..my stupid emo-ness..cause me. it feels like crap la..when someone so close to you..just drifts away...and u feel like a part of you is gone..and ur nt complete la u noe? HHAHHA..im talkin to myself..*whacks forehead* gawd..im actually lying to myself for being hapi? ==..lame..

i cant believe i actually teared up talkin abt em to him today...at tuition. i mean..he's an awesome fren. haha. so sweet and ccaring as usual. mr romanctic...><...boy..anygal would be damn lucky to have him..he's jz so...aahaha,,duno hw to say la...hmmm special? yea..special..=)..one malu thg to say...shhhhsss....i like hw it feels wen he puts his arms around my shouders..i just feel so warm and save..so loved..><


i mis carmen and chuiyin soooo much. doh i gt to see chuiyin more often. i mis carmen. absense reli does make da heart go fonder..im nt les><..bt dey are like so important to me..and noone cn replace them both. heck..noone cn replace all da frens i have now..nobody..i love them all so much and caree for them deeply..i jz hope they know dat..( doh no1 reads da blog==)

THANKS TO ALL MY FRENS DAT HAVE SUPPORTED ME AND HELPED ME..WHILE I WAs IN PAIN> SORI IF I EVER HURT YOU...if its too much to ask for their forgiveness...i reli hope we all cn remain frens for a long tym..praying hard^^..

well tats all for now..malas nk tulis dah..ahhaha..tc..

read it and weep signin out..peace! =)