curve upwards!!! :)

hmm.. go to a mirrow now..and look at yourself..are you there? do you see your mouth? your lips actually? do me a fav..and try curving them upwards now..duno hw? hahaha..simple. ever had one of those momments..in your life..when you had so much fun..doin something enjoyable? with family or frens? something simple would be enough...maybe watching a movie..hanging out..or just textin them..there would be momments..when you would curve your lips upwards...you're lying if you havent once did that=P...(crapping arent i?)

what is curving your lips upwards
anyways...here's a clue..:)..haha. got it? lols. what is a smile you ask? hmm..i looked it up..awesome i know?! so here are a few examples..what's the definition..of a :)..

1. To express amusement, pleasure, moderate joy, or love and kindness, by the features of the face; to laugh silently.

2. To express slight contempt by a look implying sarcasm or pity; to sneer.

3. To look gay and joyous; to have an appearance suited to excite joy; as, smiling spring; smiling plenty.

4. To be propitious or favorable; to favor; to countenance; -- often with on; as, to smile on one's labors.

5. To express by a smile; as, to smile consent; to smile a welcome to visitors.

6. To affect in a certain way with a smile.

7. The act of smiling; a peculiar change or brightening of the face, which expresses pleasure, moderate joy, mirth, approbation, or kindness; -- opposed to frown.

8. A somewhat similar expression of countenance, indicative of satisfaction combined with malevolent feelings, as contempt, scorn, etc; as, a scornful smile.

hmm..i agree with all of them. but i think..a smile is more than just an expression. unlike anything else in the world..a smile..is free...like the saying.." a smile begets a smile"..when you smile at someone..it is obvious you will get a smile back too. even a stranger. a person might me mental or troubled for not sending a smile back..(harsh i noe..but true)..smiling..is the first step towards friendship. i myself..have many great friends..and it all started.. with one of these :)'s..

a smile also gives us the opportunity to convey our feelings or whatever that we want to utter. it helps to create a bond when we are lost for words..it allows people to regain their composure or confidence when approaching the unknown.

michael jackson..once written a song..called "smile" and here are the lyrics>> Smile, though

your heart is aching Smile,
even though it's breaking
When there are clouds in the sky
You'll get by...

If you smile
With your fear and sorrow
Smile and maybe tomorrow
You'll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just...

Light up your face with gladness
Hide every trace of sadness
Although a tear may be ever so near
That's the time you must keep on trying Smile,
what's the use of crying
You'll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just... Smile,

though your heart is aching Smile,
even though it's breaking
When there are clouds in the sky
You'll get by...

If you smile
Through your fear and sorrow
Smile and maybe tomorrow
You'll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just smile...

so live life..love life..and enjoy life..with a smile..:)

:)..>

misunderstanding...

life...going down hill at the moment...i cant even feel as if a smile if even here anymore..

fought with my closest guy friend...and when everything was ok...it happened again...on my birthday! i didnt really realise it at first..but..once he stopped talkin...well..yea..i kinda..get da msg.. i don't see why he doesnt get it? i mean..i've been close to others...i really had..and i have never seen him react like this before..it hurts..knowing..we're fighting more often than we used to..and that is not a good sign.. is it a matter of racism? it better not..im already mad as it is.. i guess he really has changed. he started his habbit again..i hate it..when he does dat...its so freaking pissing me off. and knowing im the cause of him hurtin himself...its like a knife piercing into my heart. he's always been there...thru everything...so what really is wrong?

jealously...it is one of the ugliest thing in the world next to envy and greed. when u feel as if you're losing somebody....and you get this uneasy feeling of anger..to dat particular person.. yeap..ur jealous. i myself...have experienced tis emotion. feeling like a green monster..isnt a walk in the park. thinkin about stuff..dat nvr even happened...jealously..it runs your mind..convicing you dat ur losing fame maybe? your ego perhaps? or someone dear to you? and well..it spreads around you..and negativeness..appears...and grows. and soon..your whole body is taken over..and your mind is set to do one thing! terminate da enemy...or threat...do whatever it take..to win what you had back! well..obviously..it aint wrong to feel jealous. its normal. but im a da case where..my friend is jealous of me..and is doing stupid things..to gt me jealous. and mad with him. it really irritates me.

and now..he's being close to my best friend..just to..zzz.. i really cant explain how i feel. but only with this line.. '' if hurting me is the only way to satisfy another...then i rather stab myself and let it be over with." DA.... im sori that if i hurt u too. u actually helped me..with this prob. and well..you've been such an inspiration to me..to smile and be happy. but..sometimes..i just cant help the fact. you guys are so close to me..and i don't want to lose anyone..but i really tink im wasting my effort tryin to persuade him back to me..=(

now...a departure of a dear friend. the thing about me..i only learn to truly appreciate something..when its fading away from my life. a lost...i can't describe how her departure is goin to be. its like a hole punched right into my chest. empty. noone to talk to in class...no one to joke my lame jokes with. no one the shed da painful tears with. no one to smile about something we both shared..no one to truly be there for me. our frienships in life..are like the gentle wind..it flows by...sometimes hard..sometimes gentle...rough and calm..it all just comes rushin in..but when its over..the hot blazing sun...rises..and we feel the heat on again..till the wind..comes flowing to us again..and all we cn do is wait..

im sensitive...that's for sure. i cry..im not strong..im weak. i always need somebody there..so if i fall..at least i noe..'hey..somebody's gt my back'... losing him...and him..and now her? its a huge gap from hapiness that i cn ever overcome. im just too emotionally attacted to thgs..never deal with separation well. i need a hug..the warmth..to be there..when im cold..when im sad. i need someone there! i used to tink..haha..carissa...your so lucky..u have so many awesome frens! around you...awesome eh? but now..finally they show their true colours...i now finally understand..wat my mum meant by..never get to close to anybody. i learnt dat the hard way..ouch!..i just grab on..to the nearest person that shows me care and love..and i get too attacted. its like a drug...i cant ever live without a friend beside me. even if i noe it would hurt.. it feels good..and even if it makes me smile for 1 second..frens..are worth dat pain sometimes. because..the love and hapiness the give..its just amazing. but when its over..da darkness and emptiness..its overwhelming...i just don't feel like my friends care that much anymore..maybe they do..but..it hurts..sometimes..cz dey don't even notice dat im gone!..

all i can hope now is the best...i mean..things..arent going as the way i plan. i feel guilty..for many reasons. hurting people. i really feel sorry. and i really think im falling for him..and his leaving? damn it la..i cant stand it..and the worst thing is..i know somebody has him already. his smile..he's just so positive. but i need to let go..i mean..its like a situation when..u saw a piece of chocolate..and u refuse to take it..cuz u tink it will still be bak when u return. but little did u noe..sum1 else took it..and den u tink..damn i should have taken it just nw! and now...i cant stop tis rush of my heart poundin whenever i see him..i noe he's never gona be mine..n he's going. and yea..why cant i let go? another situation. lets say u eat tomyam..and damn its spicy..but it taste so darn good...u tahan the pain..and jz keep eating..bt wen ur done..it hurts..bt ur sastified. so yea..i noe i wil gt hurt..wif him. but..its worth it..cuz i never ever met a guy like him before. smiles on his face. =)...bt yea..still need to try to prevent da pain n let go! ish!

okok! this post is toooo much! better stop! aahahah!...im laughin? yay? hahah. fine. tats all for now..ttfn bloggie.

read it and weep signing out...(misjudged)

screw it..

Are my friends really my friends? i mean..they are treating me like....whatever laa. i feel like so

damn annoyed lately. form 1...form2...now form 3...thgs are just going down hill at the momment...maybe its just me..being emo and crap..but thats me..live with it?! if you are my friend...you wouldnt even GIVE A DAMN about how i am. seriously...I HAVE TO ASK TO TALK?! WOW...dats just freaking awesome..i should ask wether i cn luk at my frens too..yea...tat would be awesome...i should be their dog..bark whole day long and gt slapped at for doing nothing...i trusted you..and now you did this? hah..thanks...you finally woke me up..I WONT EVER TRUST ANYONE FULLY ANYMORE!?!?!...so kindly

move away..and thanks again...you freaking rock my world..i rather be alone now..

read it and weep signing off disapointed=[

daaaammmmnnnn.....><

guess apa ini? its da sign of FRIENSHIP^^

gawd i cant rmbr the last time i wrote me bloggie. and i truly apologize for leavin u bloggie. i duno wats wrong with me lately. i dun even want to touch my diary..and read wat i ever wrote..da pain is just so hurtly..i cant handle it..luking at my golden cover...filled with puffy white bunnies...i use to fill with my emotions..and secrets...i just cant do it anymore...im just a coward..for this..im worthless arent i? haizz...as if anyone reads my blog.==

skul started like two weeks ago..1st day for kinda scary..but i survived. haha. ntg much happeened lor. leesha's bday..we had tons of fun laughin n posing withh leesha's statue.haha.played with her cat..and everyone had to wear red and black...awesome...^^haha. den along came zhen's bday..he said he didnt want anythg..but..im a pro..and decided to gt stg. haha. andrea was so nice to share la..feel so malu..and guilty. haaaiiyyooo.==. anyways..so i was walkin along pavi..and went to EX...and saw a black wallet with green abstract art on it..and my mind said.."YES!! this is zhen's!" hahah. so bote it lu. hahah.n he likes it..omg..im so hapi wen ppl actually like n use my presents. haaa...:D...!!

im still missing him so much. i gues i deserve da way he's ttreatin me. i mean..i din stay der by his side all da tym..like he did for me. i feel lyk a jinx la..i mean..once im closer to sum1..eventually another becomes further..and den wen okok dy..next one comes along. it feels so frustrating for me. aarrggghh. and lately he's closer to her..and..i mean..of course he cn be with her..but..i feel jealous..cz..i just miss spending time with him so badly. again..my stupid emo-ness..cause me. it feels like crap la..when someone so close to you..just drifts away...and u feel like a part of you is gone..and ur nt complete la u noe? HHAHHA..im talkin to myself..*whacks forehead* gawd..im actually lying to myself for being hapi? ==..lame..

i cant believe i actually teared up talkin abt em to him today...at tuition. i mean..he's an awesome fren. haha. so sweet and ccaring as usual. mr romanctic...><...boy..anygal would be damn lucky to have him..he's jz so...aahaha,,duno hw to say la...hmmm special? yea..special..=)..one malu thg to say...shhhhsss....i like hw it feels wen he puts his arms around my shouders..i just feel so warm and save..so loved..><


i mis carmen and chuiyin soooo much. doh i gt to see chuiyin more often. i mis carmen. absense reli does make da heart go fonder..im nt les><..bt dey are like so important to me..and noone cn replace them both. heck..noone cn replace all da frens i have now..nobody..i love them all so much and caree for them deeply..i jz hope they know dat..( doh no1 reads da blog==)

THANKS TO ALL MY FRENS DAT HAVE SUPPORTED ME AND HELPED ME..WHILE I WAs IN PAIN> SORI IF I EVER HURT YOU...if its too much to ask for their forgiveness...i reli hope we all cn remain frens for a long tym..praying hard^^..

well tats all for now..malas nk tulis dah..ahhaha..tc..

read it and weep signin out..peace! =)

i missed you..

♫♫♫♫♫ Iƒ ♫♫♫♫♫
Ω If I never met you , I wouldn't like you Ω

Ω If I didn't like you , I wouldn't love you Ω

Ω If I dudn't love you , I wouldn't miss you Ω

Ω But i did , I do and I always will ΩΩ If loving you is wrong , then I don't want to be right ! Ω

Ω If loving you is a crime. I'd like to be jailedfor my whole life , in your heart Ω

Ω I love you. Like a fat kid loves Vanilla-Ice-Cream ! Ω

If you have 1000 years of age , i just want to have 999 years and 364 days so i never have to live a day without you

7 words from da bottom of my heart to you

"Forever And Always, I Will Love You"

By - Leng Zai kkb ◘◘◘◘

i found this..in my other blog..i guess i really just missed him..he was so kind and sweet..forgivin everytime..and all i did was be emo and hurt him. i want him to smile. i guess all this time..i was just being selfish to myself..i wanted him for myself..to be his number1..but..selfish acts lead to sadness and hurt..i really dunno..i always tote he x care abt me wen he scolds me..wen he ignores me..i still believe..dat he cares for me..even if im nt his number1..im still his fren..watever he says..it mite hurt..n bring tears..but..i nvr nvr ever..gave up on him..he was da best bro..i could ask for..yet i still caused him so much pain..and i nvr really got to apologize..saying sori..doesnt help..does it? but..i m sori..i really am..how could i show it? i gues..im just still selfish..being my self..selfish stupid n naive.. thanks for being here..my shoulder to cry on..i love you..koh..take care..:)

a poem for a friend..

wow..when through my old blog..and found this poem..very nice..enjoy..=)


poem for a friend

FRENS FOREVA, WRITTEN WITH A PEN, SEALED WIF A KISS,

IF U R MY FREN, PLEASE ANSWER THIS,

ARE WE FRENS OR ARE WE NOT, U TOLD ME ONCE BUT I FORGOT,

SO TEL ME NOW AND TELL ME TRUE, SO I CAN SAY IM HERE FOR YOU,

OF ALL DA PEOPLE THAT I HAVE MET, YOUR THE ONES I WONT FORGET,

AND IF I DIE BEFORE YOU DO, I'LL GO TO HEAVEN AND WAIT FOR U,

SO STAY MY FREN, N ALWAYS DO, SO I CAN SAY THX 2 U,

OUR FRENSHIP MUZ START, CZ U ALL WILL ALYWAYS B IN MY HEART!!! <3

dedicated to the ones in my heart..my friends..^^

READ IT AND WEEP..signing out=P

aiyoyo..

helo helo blog blog!!!

wel..update life again...sori so long dun write...me very da malas...=P paiseh...will try to write more..=)

wel..da macha's...da so called big indian group of boys in me skul...i reli reli get damn annoyed with dem..haizz. they keep buggin my fren sharmila....as her fren..i reli feel so hurt to see stuff happen to her.=( they do stuff tat are seriously rude and mean. i feel like giving them a tight slap and tellin them how hurtful they are!

so on thurs or wed..im nt sure..we had to hantar our boooks back. so helped out me teacher..and went down. so sharmila n i, along with kishini tanussha and yeeeting sat down 2 rest.. and to my horrow...here came da annoying guys i love to hate..T.T so da so call leader of da gang..whose name i malas to mention.. sat beside sharmila, and grabbed da purse my sis gave her as a bday present..and her money. i got so damn pissed seriously. i was like wat da hell? and dey are total pervs...reli reli..dey reli dare to touch you..even if u are a girl. sometimess..girlschool x seem tat bad..any hu..sharmila tried to fight back n grab her stuff. typical her. n da ass**** leader splashed water on her. that reli pissed me off..i wanted to slap em so bad!

lucky kevin was here...so he asked me to get upstairs wif sharmila b4 dey do worst.. she ran up. but she wanted her money...she should just stop chilling and take care of herself laaa..stuborn..wat cn we do.? so anyways..kevin bein sweet offered to pay back wat the macha's did. so sweet.. so rashvin ask me to wait..cz dey will give the money bak. so i stood on da teacher's office level and w8 wif kevin..

i looked at rashvin...de turned too another direction..and saw dev!! he was waving with his usual smile..kevin asked em to come up..i was tryin to tell em abt da macha's..but he x hear. hahah. so hel ran up. so he asked wassup? so i told em da whole frustratin story. n he asked me to follow em go k class. at da same tym sharmila came down. so dev say jz cum wif em. kevin said no..cz da macha's r dangerous..bt dev x care and he led me down da stairs.. i walked bhind sharmila..hoping they would stop. but once dey reach da pondok bacaan..dey gave her bak money..but wen she took it..dey x let go..she got scared and bent down..(which i tink made it worst..but hey she was scared)..dev grabbed me and said: cn u jz gt out of there n cum? i grabbed sharmila..n she took a separate ways..dev jz held my shoulder and brought me along..he told sharmila to go to keith nw. lucky he was der!! so sharmila told keith da whole story. i turned around n realise dev wen up..=(

den norma came down ans scolded us..so we had to go class.. well.. da next day, we talked to my beloved teacher seyamala...she gave us great advice..i reli reli was so thnkful to her..god bless her..an awesome teacher..

well..that momment wen dev was der...he really seemed like he knew what he was doing. he seemed so cool and calm. i felt so safe when he was theere. like a spark of my hero..cheezy..but yea..its reli true..i felt so warm n lucky to have em der. and tinkin nw...i tink he x scared cz he has a black bellt in karate or taekondo? hahha.. he rocks. i dunno hv to thnk em la. he x mind..but i reli do. i owe him one..=)

well..days are normal. we play games like crazy! it was soooo dammmnnnn funnnn!! ahaha...luv my frens la.. annd at night..kal told me dey wen jj x me..n apologized. well..im reli nt mad at her at all.. but i felt ditched laa. im used to it.. n im nt blaming her at all. haiz..feelin alone sad depress and left out..dunno who my frens are anymore la..

thnkful to da ones who are here..jealously taking over me..and im reli scared to get close to my frens lately...cz..i tink once i gt too close...n dey jz suddenly leave..n go so far..n i just gt hurt..haizz..i have no comments..

read it and weep signin out..(emo..zzz)