you know wat? haizz...i really miss da old times i had.. bad or gud..i still miss them all..
last year..hanging out with salina hemah da twins..and yeeting. i used to be damn close to her..esp. her. and now..i don't even rehat with her animore. it hurts me to see her everytime. i do miss her alot..and i know i have hurt her badly..but all i can do now is just try to make her happy wenever i can. hope it works..she even wrote poems about me..looking at those words..it really made me cry..i feel so bad..i hope i can make it up to her..
last year was da best...when all of us were in one block. it was so much easier to hang with my gang. now i have to walk over to another block..and hide from norliah.. haiz. everytime solat..i just had to walk over to da opposite side and find kong and prakkash and nareshaa. now..its just like, we were all meant to be apart..
laz year we all used to lepak at kklub and prakkash's house. we were all so close. we never separated and stuck together. this year..things started changing. we had a new person in our gang..ooi jin chern. we weren't tat close last year cause he and prakkash gt probs. but now dey are like bros. damn close. that i didnt mind at all. then we got a new student..michelle..who changed many lives..den ppl in our gang started fallin for each other..ok...still can tahan..
used to be freaking close to keshen...now..he's closer to da guys...wel..cant blame em. den prakkash too..cant blame em either. got damn close to zhen zhen. he was so sweet. i remembered he always ejek me. like one time..i told em i rock! den he said: i dun fully agree wif u on tat. u are a rock..bt u dun rock..get it? he is just so random. he was great in our gang. making us all hapi. kong too..he stayed da same. lucky me! ^^
during the mid year..things started to change...worse and worst! i wasnt tat close to nigel anymore. but at least he still tells me secrets. and once i fought with kong. i cant blame em..i was so emo and rude. he's a great pal, and he forgave me..but after that, i fought with zhen. it seems like no matter what i do..i will have to lose somebody.. i started being negative again. i cried more often. its hard..cause..sometimes when you are so close to someone...and sudenli den jz go so far away from you..its really painful for me..i rememberd about a month ago..i had an emotional meltdown. i cried for an hour and a half none stop. i just couldnt stop..da pain was so sharp. my heart was breaking..
and now..im not tat close to joelle..im changing into a monster! talkin about other people..not being as nice as i was b4. i feel so selfish! i just miss hanging out in a gang again. no pain..just hapiness and laughter.
last friday..we got to go to prakkash house to hang out. 6 of us. like dy old times. it was so fun. i dun tink i ever laugh tat much b4. kesh and sharmila was so lame.:P but damn funi. i loved that momment so much..i wish i could go through it again.. though zhen wasn't there..it was fun^^
i miss zhen sooo much. i mis joelle too. everyone!!! including da old me. where have all these people gone too. everyone luks da same..but they are like strangers to me now.. giving me da cold shoulder..i hate that so much.
life seems so empty now...i try to fill it up..but ppl keep making da hapiness flow out again n again. i feel like giving up. i noe i have to accept da fact that i cant keep all my frens wif me. but i wish i could. i really miss them all so much..i miss you all..please come back:(
that's all for now..bye.
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