tre desole...

hatred...strong aversion..intense dislike..? however explained...i used to think..it wasnt posiblee for a human to truly hate another..and still strongly agree with that statement..but..still..being hated..is no walk in the park..

right now..i feel a mixture of emotions which really...just drives me crazy..i cant help think...'does the person really hate me that much?' 'wat have i done so bad to make the person hate me?' fine..maybe hangin up was rude and annoying..bt if that person was in my shoes..with dat situation..dey would understand....or maybe its just me..well..its always been me..hasnt it? hah.. screwed up something that makes me smile..once more. not oni causin pain to myself..but others..ass well..

i always knew it deep down..i cant didnt hv to courage to admit..bt...i always jz..keep it inside..cause at least if i dont know the exact truth..i still have the slightest hope that those words..were just a dream? stupid..and naive..i guess u cn call me that. but who hasnt felt like this before..tryin to lie to urself..makin urself feel slightly better..but when reality kicks in..its completely devastating.. and hurtful..and u feel completely stupid..for lying to yourself..and for wat? to feel better? hahaha...im such a fool arent i? nevertheless ..i have lost my faith in myself..

it hurts so bad..knowing a person dislikes you..but its worst when you are the cause of hatred between others..the guilt? the regret? sometimes..you know things would turn out badly..but you go on..cause u wana feel hapi..even for the slightest moment..but when it ends..truly..devastating ...it hurts so bad..you could seriously...feel..the pain in ur chest..your heart..mournin..and aching..with just bitter bitter regret..

i do feel angry..mad perhaps..that i've done nothing to deserve this..but maybe karma? like carmen always says..hahah..epic..bt well..life..is surpose to be like this? but...i feel as if..i cant bare to love somone..and hurt the person at the same time. sometimes goodbye..though it hurts in your heart..is the only way for destiny.. some lyrics i remember..haha..if goodbye is the only way to stop the fights..the pain..and the hurt..i gues..then..i dont have a choice...i do..but..well..we'll just see wats for the best;)..

so i really dont wana emo crap around..i'll just end with this..curiousity killed the cat..and there's nothing you cn do about it..

ttfn..readitandweep signin out